Jolinar
by Meushell
Summary: Jolinar’s point of view throughout In the Line of Duty. Rated for language.
1. Waiting

Title: Jolinar  
Author: Meushell  
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.  
Summary: Jolinar's point of view throughout In the Line of Duty.  
Rating: PG-13, rated for language  
Spoilers: In the Line of Duty, The Tok'ra  
Written: July/August 2004, Finished

Part 1, Waiting

For months, Jolinar had waited quietly within her newest host. The man never knew she was there. She waited for a sign of the Tok'ra. Waited for a chance to leave. _If I wait here too long, I will be found_, she thought to herself, keeping the thought from the host. Quietly, she continued to wait.  
  
The Chaapa'ai activated. She wasn't sure at first because her host's home was a bit far from it. However, she saw through his eyes as people started heading towards it. Her host however, seemed to have no interest. Jolinar wondered how wrong it would be to make him more curious. She had to know who was coming through. _What_ _if it was the Ashrak? The Goa'uld? Perhaps, even the Tok'ra. No, they have no idea where I am.  
_  
Her host started heading to the Chaapa'ai, and she wondered if she had unintentionally influenced him. He stayed in the distance, but she was still able to see through his eyes who had come. They appeared to be human, but perhaps from a world more advanced than this one. They were talking to the leader of this world. Were they a threat? Could they be of help? Jolinar wondered.  
  
The host glanced over as his wife joined his side. He was already getting bored. Jolinar could feel it. He thought about the work needed to be done at the farm. Finally, he looked over at his wife. "Tell me, if anything important happens." _No reason for us to be both watching_, he thought, as he turned away and returned to his home.  
  
A few hours later, his wife came back, and told him the strangers were from a planet called Earth and they a team called SG-1. They seemed to be peaceful travelers.  
  
_Who could they be?_ Jolinar thought, having never heard of them before.  
  
"They are going to have a meeting," the wife continued. "Everyone is invited to watch."  
  
Her host nodded. "You may go if you wish. I have no interest."  
  
_Why of all people, did I get this guy as a host?_ Jolinar was frustrated. At least the wife was interested. She would report back, but whatever knowledge she gained could be given too late.  
  
The wife smiled. "I will tell you everything that you might find interesting."  
  
As they hugged and kissed goodbye, Jolinar tried to ignore it, as she always felt very intrusive during private moments. It also hurt, and made her wonder what Martouf and Lantash were doing that moment. _How often do they think of me?_ She mentally closed her eyes. _Will I ever see them again?  
_  
Her host started working as soon as his wife left.  
  
She wasn't sure how long he had been working when she heard the first shot. _No! Oh, no, no, no!  
_  
Her host dropped the hoe he had been using, and started running towards the town's center. "Talia!" His thoughts were only of his wife and her safety.  
  
_I'm sorry. I'm sorry._ Jolinar thought, realizing she was probably the reason they were being attacked. She eased the man's panic and the pain in his side from running.  
  
"Talia!" He called, " Talia!"  
  
Suddenly she felt and heard a shot from above. Too close. The man screamed out in pain as he was thrown forward. Jolinar wanted to scream with him, but instead retreated further, and quickly started working on the burns and helping his body to release endorphins.  
  
The man coughed, and managed to roll over as he tried to get up. Others passed by him, not seeming to notice. " Talia," he whispered.  
  
Jolinar continued to try to heal him, but realized she couldn't. He was dying. The injuries were too great. _I can't save him. I'm sorry._  
  
She eased the pain, as there was nothing else she could do. She considered comforting him, but knew she'd probably just scare him. Another reality hit her. _I'm going to die. I am going to die, and no one will know. Not even my host. Martouf...Lantash...I'm sorry._ If she couldn't see them one last time, she wished at least they would know what happened. _They never will.  
_  
"Colonel, this man is still alive!" The voice was distance, feminine.  
  
_He's not the only one in here, and we aren't alive for long._  
  
She ignored the female near her, working on easing the man's pain, and thinking of her loves. She was afraid, no, terrified. Then suddenly she felt a mouth on her host's mouth. Could _she possibly know? How...?_ It was, after all, how the Tok'ra joined with a new host. Other than kissing, Jolinar didn't know of another reason for it.  
  
The female pulled away.  
  
_Wishful thinking?_ Jolinar thought, thinking that maybe she hadn't felt what he thought she felt...but then there it was again. _Sorry_, she thought to the nearly dead man, and for the first time took control of his body. She was thankful that he was too weak to even know what was going on s she moved a hand to the back of the female's head.  
  
She quickly moved from one host to another as the female pulled back. Jolinar automatically had control, and memories of the host hit her at once. Samantha Carter. Stargate Command. They fought the Goau'ld. They had no knowledge of the Tok'ra. This new host was protesting.  
  
_Shit._

(Author's note: Sorry if I made any mistakes. Not sure if the wife had a name. If you enjoy it, and want to see more, I can get the DVD and write the rest of the episode from Jolinar's point of view. Let me know what you think.)

(October 1, 2004-I edited a few minor things. Thank you for the reviews.)


	2. Something about Jolinar

(A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. I didn't expect to get so many. Getting the DVD took a little longer than I thought, but now that I have it, updates will be faster. Also, for some reason I can't get italics, so using ' ' for thoughts. Hope you don't confuse that with ""for quotes. Sorry if it confuses you, other symbols I thought of didn't show up in the upload, and it's delayed the update a day already. If you think of a better way to show thoughts, let me know.)

(New A/N: Can use italics now, yea, so now I re-uploaded this part. So disregard that part of the old note.)

Part 2, Something About Jolinar

"Carter!"

_O'Neill,_ Jolinar thought, getting the name from the memories of her new host.

"We have got to go," he continued. His voice was now closer.

Jolinar felt hand on her shoulders, and turned to look at him, a bit startled. Still in disbelief about what she had just done. _Think. Think!_ She wiped the blood from her mouth, wondering if he had noticed, but realizing he must have.

"You all right?"

"Yeah," she automatically answered.

Jack O'Neill put a hand towards Jolinar's previous host. "Let's get him out of here. Come on."

Jolinar shook her head, and ducked when she heard an explosion dangerously near. "Dead. Had some kind of seizure." _They can't realize he had a symbiote in him. Need to explain the blood. _"Bit his own tongue."

She had gained automatic control of the host, but Samantha Carter was fighting fiercely. Jolinar was not only fighting her, but her own guilt. She wasn't entirely sure who this man was, or how to act. Not so soon after the blending. _Can't really call it a blending, now can I?!_ She retorted to herself, feeling so sick with her actions that she felt like losing whatever meal this host last ate.

The explosions around them were getting worse, and that seemed to trigger her back to what was more important at the moment. _Does he see the Death Glider coming at us?!_ She thought in panic, though showed none of it. He helped her up, and they started running. She felt both relief and disgusted that she had fooled him.

As they ran, she realized that Jack O'Neill's hand was on her upper arm, as if helping her run. _He must have noticed I am a bit out of it, and thought I needed help. Am I acting so strangely? No, now is not the time to worry about it. He wouldn't be helping me if he didn't think I was Sam Carter._

Jolinar was thankful when she saw they were close to the Chaapa'ai, and briefly wondered where they were headed. She slowed down a brief second when she saw a Jaffa standing near the Chaapa'ai, seeming to be waiting for them. _He will attack! No, he can be trusted. A Jaffa helping Tau'ri? _ She sped up again before Jack O'Neill noticed.

The Jaffa moved to her left side, and helped her up the steps. Quickly, the three of them made it through the gate together.

"Lock it up!" said a male's voice..._Hammond..._when they came through.

Jolinar looked forward, trying to figure out where they were when she heard the sound metal smoothly moving against itself near the Chaapa'ai. She turned in time to see the iris close in front of the...

_Stargate_

Jolinar didn't really hear the thought from Carter. Instead the information came when she turned towards it. The same way the information came when she saw the Jaffa, no, Teal'c, and when she saw the iris.

"Carter?"

_Jack O'Neill again._ She turned to him.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, fine." _Must be polite, and not arouse suspicion._ "Thanks." Jolinar looked around, and suddenly knew where she was. _The first world...the origin of the all Tau'ri. How is that possible?_

To be continued...


	3. Deceptions

(A/N: Well, the good news is, after this the chapters will be longer. Thank you again for reviewing.)

Part 3, Deceptions

Hammond and most of SG-1 immediately all went to a room with a long table, chairs, a screen, and many other things in it. _The briefing room_, Jolinar thought as she sat down. _I need to get out of here, and find a new host. The longer I stay, the more likely something will go wrong._ The aftermath of the last time she stayed too long still burned her conscious.

They were waiting for someone called Daniel Jackson, who was part of the same team as her newest host.

_Sorry_, she thought to Samantha Carter, who was worried about any information her intruder would get from the briefing room. Jolinar's apology was ignored, and she knew her host hadn't believed it.

_She is right though_, Jolinar thought to herself. _Not entirely sorry. I want to know how soon I can leave this place and go find a new, and willing, host._

_What would the Tok'ra think of me? What would-_

Daniel came through the door, and started speaking immediately. "There hadn't been any Goa'uld interference on this planet for over three centuries. The Nasyans are..._were_ a peaceful people."

_And I wrecked that._

"They were eager to form an alliance, "Daniel Jackson continued, "and aid us in setting up a research outpost. There was no warning this attack was coming. We hadn't even spotted the Mothership by the time the Gliders assaulted the village."

Jolinar briefly wondered what the Tok'ra would consider worse. Taking a host by force or getting an entire village attacked. _I should have left sooner. Why did I wait so long?_ She continued to listen to them talk, each sentence bringing her more guilt.

"It's not normal for the Goa'uld to sudden just show up and wipe out a peaceful people for no apparent reason, is it?" asked Hammond.

She looked down at the papers Daniel Jackson had given to her, intending to pay more attention on what they were saying, and less on feeling guilt for what could not be changed.

"In the past, there was usually some reason. Most often they seem to attack civilizations that are advancing to the point where their technology could be a threat, but that wasn't the case here," Daniel answered.

_The Tau'ri have learned a great deal of the Goa'uld. _Jolinar was impressed.

"Maybe they found out we were there," Jack O'Neill, Sam's Leader, suggested.

_No, it wasn't you'_ Though Jolinar wished it had been them, that she wasn't to blame. _The Tok'ra will never take me back after what I have done. No, no guilt right now. Pay attention!_

"Well, how could they know?" Daniel Jackson asked, and then continued, "Or more importantly, why would this particular Goa'uld care?"

"They might have been a little concerned because we just kicked the crap out of Apophis."

_Really?_ Jolinar thought as the memory of it came. _That explain why his first prime is here? _She glanced to Teal'c.

"Well, the truth is we still understand very little about their society," Daniel responded.

Teal'c finally spoke, confirming Jolinar's belief that he was capable of it. "I have seen the Goa'uld wipe out entire civilizations with no reason, simply because it gave them pleasure."

Jolinar watched him, very curious to what would make a Jaffa turn against the Goa'uld, his god, and now speak against them.

"So what, Nasya was just next on the list?" Daniel Jackson asked. "A part of me wishes it was that it was that simple, but I don't want to underestimate them."

Jolinar continued to watch Teal'c. "Maybe the reasons were just made apparent to you, Teal'c. I mean, you are just a Jaffa."

Everyone looked at her in a curious way, making her feel uncomfortable. _Shouldn't have said that, but they need to know. _"All-All I meant was that Apophis wouldn't necessarily have explained everything to Teal'c, even if he _was_ the First Prime." S_omeone agree with me. _"Would he?" She purposely looked back to Teal'c, hoping he would agree.

"That is true," he answered, but still looked at her in that curious way.

"I agree with Sam, but I think we have to assume the Goa'uld are more complex as a society than we are giving them credit for," Daniel Jackson said.

"The better you understand the enemy, the better prepared you are in conflict." Jolinar said the words mostly to herself.

"Exactly."

"What is the status of the Nasyan survivors?" asked Hammond.

"Well, we managed to rescue 237 people. The critically burned and some of the overflow our infirmary couldn't handle were transferred to the Air Force Academy Hospital. The rest are awaiting relocation."

"Proceed."

"Sir," Daniel Jackson started as he looked to General Hammond, "I think it's important to try and find a reason why Nasya became a Goa'uld target."

_No, figure it out after I have left._

"Agreed, but relocation is the first priority."

_Good. Yes. I will leave through the Chaapa'ai, find a new host, and..._

"I am assigning the three new SG Teams, 10 through 12, to coordinate with you," Hammond continued. He nodded, and then got up. "Dismissed."

Jolinar got up, thinking about where she would go to find a new host.

"Oh, Carter? I hate to be a nag about this, but ol' Doc Fraiser says you hadn't been check out yet," Jack O'Neill said as he looked through the folder he had.

She nodded. "I'll go right now." _Don't want them to be suspicious. _"Wouldn't want to break post-mission protocol, right Colonel." _And delay getting out of here._ She slapped the back of his shoulder in a friendly manner, as she had seen people do.

She headed over to the infirmary using Samantha Carter's memories to find it. _Perhaps I could find a host at the same planet Rosha came from._ Once she found the infirmary, the doctor, Janet Fraiser seemed to be a little surprised at her willingness for the check up.

Jolinar was instructed to sit down, and the doctor started the tests. She was nervous, thinking perhaps they had some kind of test to find her. She felt the doctor feel the back of her neck, and hoped that was the only symbiote inspection she would receive, if that was what it was.

"Sorry to have to do this," Janet Fraiser said as she felt her neck, then reached behind to get something. "All right, open."

She opened her mouth, wishing she had been able to heal the injury she had created in her host's throat. She watched the doctor put something wooden on her tongue, and use another device to shine light in her mouth.

"You had a sore throat lately?"

_Play innocent. _"A little, why?"

"There is a small abrasion back there. Gonna have to do a swab." She took out a white stick with fluffy stuff on the end. "And open."

_Can that thing find me? Ow, that hurts._

"Cassandra's been asking about you..."

"Cassandra." G_irl...Janet's daughter...found on another planet... _"Yeah, I...I've been so busy lately."

"She understands." Janet Fraiser set a few of those strange items down. "Ok, you just let me know if it gets worse."

_It won't get worse. I'm healing it just fine._ "I'm free to go out tomorrow, right?" _I have to get out tomorrow. _"We're searching possible relocation sites for the Nasyans."

"Sure. Cassandra's gonna to be at the hospital with me tomorrow, so why don't you stop by, and spend a little time with her first, you know, if you can."

Jolinar nodded, wishing she didn't have to. "I will." _Another person to fool_.

"Ok," Janet Fraiser said as she left.

Jolinar left, her inspection done. She was thankful that she had passed, but was not looking forward to meeting Cassandra. _Well, how hard can it be to fool a little girl?_

To be continued...


	4. Becoming the Enemy

(Thank you for the reviews. Tigerdrake and Sache8, I might do your requests in a later chapter. Already had what I wanted for this chapter in mind, and adding more would be too much. Sorry, this update was late. Had trouble uploading it.)

Part 4, Becoming the Enemy

On the way to the hospital, Jolinar decided on what she would do once they left earth. _Go to Rosha's world. They know me. _She thought of the many visits Rosha and her took to the world. How sad Rosha was to see her friends and family die from old age. _They might be able to provide me with a host, if not, I still need to tell them what became of Rosha. Rosha. _A sensation of lost came over.

She shook her head slightly, still needing to plan. _They have some lakes. I can live in one of them if they cannot give me a new host. Martouf and Lantash might think to look for me there. _She wondered what their reaction would be, to find one lost love, and not the other. _I might actually see them again._ She smiled.

At the hospital, Jolinar first checked on a few Nasyans in it, wondering if the Ashrak was hiding among any of them. With the third door she reached, she saw Janet Fraiser was inside. She knocked on the door of the room, and opened it.

"Hey," Janet Fraiser greeted.

Jolinar walked over to the doctor and patient, curious about who was under all those bandages. "This one of the Nasyans we saved?"

"Yeah, he should be dead." Janet replied as she wrote something on her clipboard. "Cassandra's in my office. Now, we still have rounds to make, but you know where it is, right?"

Jolinar nodded as the memories of where to go were already coming from Sam Carter.

Janet left, and Jolinar stepped closer to the Nasyan, very suspicious as to why a man who should be dead was not. She frowned. _Is he the Ashrak?_ If only she knew. If he was, then she'd kill him now, saving not only her life, but perhaps the life of her newest host. His host would be saved from having to live the rest of his life, suffering as someone else controlled his body. There was no way she could remove the symbiote without killing the host, but she could have least save him from suffering from a life not worth living.

However, if she was wrong, another innocent would die because of a mistake she made. _I've already caused too much pain._

She left the room, hoping she was wrong about him being the Ashrak, and even more encouraged to get off this planet as soon as possible.

Jolinar headed down the hall, as old memories that were not hers guided her to Janet's office. Her thoughts trailed to Lantash and Martouf again. Would they accept her back after what she had done? Would the Tok'ra? They weren't pleased after her stunt of trying to overthrow the system lords. This just might be one too many mistakes for them to accept her back. The thought stung, but not as much as the idea of being rejected by her loves.

Sam Carter was fighting again, to keep her away from Cassandra. Jolinar put the thoughts aside to keep in control.

_I'm sorry, but if I am discovered now, it will only prolong this whole experience. I promise, when we go off-world, I will find a new host, and if I cannot, then I will still give you back your body._

Jolinar reached Janet's office, and knocked before coming in. _So, this is Cassandra._ "Hey, there."

Cassandra looked up from her painting. "Sam!" The little girl started heading over, then backtracked to wipe yellow paint from her fingers.

_What do I say?_ Jolinar asked herself, having never handled children before. Her hosts always did that for her. She looked at the painting. "Wow. Nice painting." She hoped the compliment would please the child.

"You really like it?" Cassandra said, as she continued wiping paint from her hands. "My teacher at school says I have talent."

"I love it." Jolinar smiled; glad she was handling this well.

Cassandra started running at her again, "I missed you."

Jolinar hugged her, and felt little arms wrap around. "I know, I'm sorry, I've been so busy."

"-very busy," Cassandra said with her.

Jolinar was glad Cassandra was understanding, thinking she might actually enjoy spending time with her, but suddenly she felt the girl stiffen in her arms. She opened her eyes, and glanced to her. _She can't possibly know._

Cassandra pulled again, looking at her with fear.

_No, she can't know. How could she possibly know? _She started getting up, "Cassandra, what is it?"

Cassandra continued to watch with fear, her head shaking slightly, before she run away, and hid behind the couch.

_Damn it! She knows! How does she know?! _Jolinar's eyes glows. _Well she sure as hell knows now! I need better control on the eye-glow. No, she can't tell anyone. This ruins everything! _She headed over to Cassandra. _Calm down. If I can keep her quiet, then I can leave this planet before anyone knows I was here. Perhaps I can tell her I will leave her friend if she keeps quiet. No, look at her. She's terrified. She won't believe that._

Jolinar stopped in front of the girl. _Can I scare her into keeping quiet? Then once I am gone, Sam Carter come back, and Cassandra will see there is no more symbiote, and everything will be good for all three of us. I just have to...terrify an innocent girl. _"Cassandra."

Cassandra tried to stay hidden behind the couch.

"Cassandra, you will not tell anyone what you know." She watched sadly as Cassandra tried to shove herself behind the couch. _Show no weakness. Act Goa'uld. What would a Goa'uld say? _"If you tell anyone what you know about me, I will not hesitate to kill you. Do you understand me?"

Cassandra made a weak nod; her eyes were still round in fear.

Jolinar stayed for a few seconds longer to make her point. Acting Goa'uld in itself did not bother her. She did it many times as a spy; however, she hated having to scare Cassandra. _It's for the best_, she repeated to herself. "Good, then we understand each other."

She allowed more seconds to pass, trying to judge whether or not Cassandra would say anything, then turned and left. She decided to head to the base as soon as possible.

---

_Almost time to leave, where is everyone?!_

Jolinar walked down the hall and found Teal'c and Daniel Jackson. "Where's the Colonel? We're due to get out of here in five minutes." _They don't know. If Cassandra told anyone, Teal'c and Daniel Jackson would be told, right?_

"He left us a message, said he'd meet us in the Gate Room," Daniel said.

"Well, step on it then!" _Need to get out of here._ She headed out towards the Gate Room.

Once at the Gate Room she paced in front of the Chaapa'ai. _No one knows. Just a small delay. No one knows. She didn't tell anyone. No one knows. _She saw Daniel Jackson and Teal'c head into the room. _See, no one knows._

A buzz sound filled the room. _That's not me. Just something else from the base. _She was determined not to allow her emotions to take control, which would lead to eye-glowing.

"Where's Colonel O'Neill," she asked the two men.

Just then Jack O'Neill entered the room. "Stand down, Campers. We're on hold."

"Why?" Jolinar asked, disliking the slight panic in her voice. _Keep control. It could be anything. Jack O'Neill was here the entire time. Cassandra didn't tell him anything._

"I don't know," he said as he continued heading to his team, "some Computer glitch."

Jolinar jerked her arm away, as soon as she realized he was injecting her with something. "What the hell was that?" _Tired. Did he make me tired?_

Her heart was racing, and it felt like the air was thinning. The need to sleep was steadily coming stronger. _Shit! He knows! They all know. I got to get out of here! _She grabbed a gun that she had on her, and pointed it at O'Neill. "Open the Stargate!" She didn't bother hiding her voice. _Need to get out of here. Just let me out of here._

"Jack, what the hell is going on," said a shocked Daniel, all the events not fully being realized in his mind.

"Open the gate now!" Jolinar demanded. "I command you." Her eyes glowed in anger. _I have to get out of here! Find a new host. See Martouf and Lantash again._

A near solider brought up his gun, and shot at her. She glanced down, wondering what it was, and then pointed her gun at him in instinct. O'Neill tried to take her gun while she was distracted._ No!_ She hit him, pushing him down.

"Open the gate now..." she demanded again, and saw Teal'c pointing his staff weapon at her. Next plan was already in action as she pulled a pin from a grenade, "...or we will all die!" _They must let me out if I threaten them. They must!_

Two more soldiers pulled guns on her.

"Hold your fire!" O'Neill commanded. He turned to the Jaffa, who still had his staff weapon on her. "Teal'c."

"I have a shot, sir," one of the soldiers replied.

"And if she drops that grenade, what?" O'Neill pointed out.

_So tired._ Jolinar watched the soldiers, and then looked to O'Neill who was heading to her. _What did he do to me?_

He stopped in front of her. "Nobody's gonna open that Stargate. We're all going live, or we're all gonna die right here."

_So tired. Don't want to die. I might survive the blast. No one else would though and... Fight this sleep. _"Let me go! I must go!"

"Not gonna happen."

_Why won't you let me go?_ She felt her knees collapse, and a sensation of falling back. _Martouf...Lantash...sorry._

To be continued...


	5. In the Mind

Part 5, In the Mind

_Jolinar felt out of control. She walked up the ramp of the SGC, but she wasn't the one walking. People walked behind her, friends, though she didn't know or even think about who they were. Jolinar stepped through the gate, and came out into a hot world with sand spreading for miles. She heard the gate shut down, and turned around to face Jack O'Neill, Teal'c, and Daniel Jackson who had stepped behind the gate behind her._

_She pulled out a gun and first pointed it towards Jack O'Neill, and pulled the trigger. She turned the gun to Teal'c next, killing him. Finally, she pointed it at Daniel, who looked at her with a look of confusion and betrayal. She fired the gun. Jolinar looked at the bodies, feeling both guilt and out of control._

"_What have you done?"_

_Jolinar turned back outward, and saw Martouf/Lantash and Rosha standing at the bottom of the steps, staring at her. Martouf/Lantash stood behind Rosha with an arm around her waist. Jolinar realized it was Martouf who had spoken. She felt her eyes flare, suddenly in control. "I had no choice."_

_Martouf's own eyes glowed as Lantash took control. "You have put us to shame, Jolinar."_

"_I'm sorry."_

_Rosha took a step closer, causing Martouf's hand to move from her waist to holding her hand. "You are no different than the Goa'uld. I wish I was never a host to you."_

_The three of them turned and walked away._

"_No! Come back! I had no choice." Jolinar fell to her knees. "Please. Come back. I need help." She watched as they continued to walk away, not even looking back. "Come back!" she roared, her symbiote voice making the plea sound much stronger, but still, they walked on. _

_She lost control again, and picked up a zat'nikatel. "I demand your return." Without hesitation, she fired at each of them twice, and watched their bodies fall._

Jolinar woke up with tears in her eyes. She wiped them away as she realized that the dream was created from the fears of both her and Samantha. It took a moment to realize that Sam was still sleeping. She could faintly see how the rest of the dream was going. It had restarted, but they stepped out on to a planet with grass and tree instead of the last known Tok'ra base.

She knew Sam was still asleep because the drug had a stronger affect on her. Jolinar could help her wake up sooner, but wondered if it would be better for her to sleep as the nightmare continually restarted, or wake up to a life she couldn't control.

_Could ask her._

Jolinar closed her eyes, and went deeper into Sam's mind, taking Rosha's form in her dream.

"_Sam."_

_Samantha was about to pull the trigger on her commanding officer. She stopped, suddenly in control, and turned to Rosha's form. "Jolinar?"_

"_I can help you wake up."_

"_But you won't give me control."_

"_You might get us killed." Jolinar glanced down the steps of the Stargate, noticing that Martouf/Lantash and Rosha had reappeared there. They, like O'Neill, Teal'c, and Daniel, seemed to staring towards Sam and Jolinar, not as they had done before, but instead, staring through them, not really watching. They were just there. It was disturbing. Jolinar closed her eyes, and turned back to her host. "I know more about what is going on than you do. It is best that I stay in control."_

"_You can tell me what is going on."_

"_You wouldn't believe me," Jolinar pointed out. They both knew this was true. Sam had no reason to believe her. Allowing her last host to have control while an Ashrak was after her, got him and much of his village killed. A mistake she did not want to repeat._

_For a moment, both said nothing. Jolinar saw Sam look at Martouf/Lantash and Rosha with curiosity. Jolinar watched as the world went from grass and tress, back into the desert world. She turned back to Sam. "Do you wish to be woken up?"_

_Sam looked back to her, and then nodded._

Jolinar was back in the real world, which, even though she was in a brig, was less disturbing. She knew Sam wanted to be awake so that she could see what was going on, and what Jolinar was doing. _Not much for her to see_, Jolinar thought, as she worked on waking up her host.

In a few minutes Sam returned to the waking world, a bit surprised that Jolinar had actually done as she wished.

Jolinar stood up and looked out of the brig. She clasped her hands behind her, and stood with fleet apart.

_Standard Martouf pose._

It took a second for Jolinar to realize that it was Sam's thoughts, and not her own. _You've learned to look into my mind as well. I understand now why you haven't been fighting lately._

_Yes, _Sam admitted.

_Perhaps if you continue to search, you will see I am telling the truth._

Sam didn't respond.

Jolinar kept her pose, while she and Sam waited for what was to come next.

To be continued...


	6. Interrogation

Part 6, Interrogation

Jack O'Neill was the first to visit her. He dismissed the guard, and turned to Jolinar. "So, you and I got to have a little talk." He paused briefly, as if searching for the next words. "You really screwed up here, you know. I mean, you really blew it."

Jolinar shook her head, as she knew what he was doing. It might have work on a Goa'uld, so full of pride they were. "You are weak."

"Who's behind bars right now?"

"Your tactics will not work on me," Jolinar informed. They irritated her, yes, as she had her pride. It also slightly irritated her to be treated as a Goa'uld, but she had been acting as one, and was used to it from all the times she was a spy among the Goa'uld. Insulting her would not get him more information.

_Tell him, Jolinar, if you are telling the truth._

_No, Samantha, he would not believe me. He would only think that his tactics are beginning to work._

Jack stepped closer. "Not buying it, huh?"

"You must let me go."

Jack slowly came to a stop. "Uh...no."

"You really have no idea why this is happening," Jolinar said, partly in surprise to how clueless he was, and partly to inform him there was more going on than he realized. She turned away to sit on the bed.

"And I guess you don't feel like telling me," Jack said to himself. His voice had a hint of disappointment.

Jolinar stared at him from her bed, and folded her arms to make her point.

The staring contest began.

---

Jolinar wasn't sure how long they stared at each other. Samantha Carter had stopped paying full attention to the staring, and was again trying to look through Jolinar's memories. All she was getting was fleeting memories, which was about all a host could get when not being aided by the symbiote. Though Jolinar didn't help her, she didn't stop her either. She was torn between wanting her host to believe her, and not wanting to share too much information about the Tok'ra.

Jolinar finally broke the silence. "Let me go." She felt Samantha return to full attention to what was going on. Jolinar stood up. "Let me go through the Stargate. I will find another host, and send your friend back to you."

"You can do that? Leave a host without killing them?"

"Yes, it is possible, but not easy. I could die, but I promise I will try."

"The Nasyan man died when you left him."

Jolinar shook her head slightly, closing her eyes in guilt of not being able to save him. She opened her eyes again. "The Nasyan man died first. That is why I left him. He was beyond my natural abilities to heal."

"What were you doing in him in the first place?"

_Getting off topic. _Jolinar redirected the conversation. "Carter's mind would be intact. She would return to you, as you knew her before."

Jack reacted only slightly, seeming to have some hope. "You know I can't trust you."

"I could have killed you and many others when you stopped me from going through the Stargate."

"You didn't want to die yourself."

"They would not have killed me. I am too valuable."

"Which is exactly why we'll never let you go."

_No! You must! _Jolinar watched as he turned away, starting to leave. She felt panicked. "I have done nothing to harm you! But you would not let me go even if you did believe me." Her thoughts went to the Ashrak. _He is going to kill us! We are trapped here, and he is going to find us, and kill us! Can't stop him. They must believe me._

_He won't believe you. _Samantha's voice sounded both relieved and disappointed on the same time.

_Then you tell him!_ Jolinar pulled back control, and shared her most recent memories with her host, the memories of running from a hunter, and why she had taken control.

She first felt Samantha's shock of being given control, and sudden new memories. "Oh God!" Her host looked towards her commanding officer. "He's telling you the truth! Please, Jack."

He seemed to hesitate, giving both some hope that he might stay, but then knocked at the door.

"No, Jack, please! Don't leave me, please! Give me a chance! Don't leave me like this! Please!"

Jack left them.

Jolinar felt angry as she watched him leave. "What will it take?"

---

_He will never believe me. He didn't even believe you. You are not surprised he had no belief that it was you?_ Jolinar stated the question to her host, who had been quiet since Jack O'Neill left.

Samantha's mind went over her own words, finding fault in them.

Jolinar frowned slightly. _He would never believe you because you called him Jack?_ Jolinar inwardly cringed at her own ill-timing. _The memories. If I hadn't given them to you while you were speaking, you would not have been influenced by my thoughts. Like everything lately, the fault is mine._

Jolinar thought over her other options. _The Jaffa._

_His name is Teal'c._

_Yes, Teal'c. He will have heard of the Tok'ra, and perhaps even of myself._ Jolinar stood up, and looked towards the guard. "I wish to speak with the-with Teal'c."

The guard said nothing, and opened the door, giving the message to someone else. Jolinar stood there, waiting, hoping Teal'c was still on the base.

In a few minutes, Teal'c was there. He turned to Jolinar. "You have requested my presence?"

"Jaffa, you must convince the humans to let me go."

_You really think that is going to work? _Samantha asked. _Let me talk to him._

Jolinar had a brief thought of accidentally influencing her host into calling her friend "Jaffa," and him leaving, never to believe what she had to say either. _No, but I do plan to tell him more._

"They will not let you go," the Jaffa responded.

"They are impressive. The Tau'ri have become very powerful in the time since the Goa'uld reign here. Certainly the System Lords will not allow this to go unchecked. I can provide the humans with information that can help them defend against attack."

"They are more powerful than you know. Already a Goa'uld attack on Earth has been thwarted."

_Really? _"Then a more powerful assault is already being planned." Memories of the attack came as Samantha thought of it after Teal'c's mention of it.

"They are not fools; they believe you are here to plant the seed of that destruction."

Jolinar stepped closer. "Not all Goa'uld are the same. There are a few that oppose the System Lords, and their ways. You must have heard of the Tok'ra."

There was no reaction on the Jaffa's face as he too stepped forward. "Every Goa'uld seeks power for his own reason, and would betray his own brother to achieve it."

_He does not believe the Tok'ra exist? He must! _"Some seek power for a greater purpose. Not every Goa'uld is an enemy to the people of this planet. The Tok'ra are real, no matter what Apophis has told you."

"I have yet to meet one."

"You have now. I am Jolinar of Malk-Shur." _Hope he has heard of me._

The Jaffa's eyes widened slightly. He walked toward the door, and looked towards her, though in surprise or disbelieve, Jolinar did not know, but she took his seeming wanting to hurry as a good sign. _It seems he has heard of me._

To be continued...

(A/N: Hello, thanks everyone for the reviews. My note is down here because I wanted to speak briefly about this part, to be more precise, Jolinar letting Sam out briefly. Some people believe it was Sam. Some people believe it was Jolinar acting as Sam. I watched the scene a few times before writing it, and saw evidence for both. So, read on if you are curious....

Evidence it was Sam

--It looked like a change. It seems odd for Jolinar to fake that when Jack was turned away from her.

--The words "**He's** telling you the truth!" Besides the Nasyan man, Jolinar has been "female" for at least a hundred years. It seems like Jolinar would refer to herself as a female even if pretending to be someone else. We also know that until Martouf told Sam otherwise, she did refer to Jolinar as a male.

Evidence it was Jolinar

--Calls Jack "Jack." Has Sam called him Jack anytime else in the series? Other than when they have amnesia or he asks her too when they are off duty.

--We never saw Sam again until Jolinar was gone.

I hope I made good reasoning for Sam calling Jack "Jack" and why Sam isn't allowed out anymore.)


	7. Goa’uld Hunter

(A/N: Thank you for the reviews. Iamdragonrider, your thoughts on the whole "Jack" thing, and the emotion in the scene were interesting.)

Part 7, Goa'uld Hunter

The door that led to her cell opened, and Jolinar heard the voice of the Jaffa. "This Goa'uld, Jolinar of Malk-Shur, claims to be part of that group."

Both Teal'c and Jack O'Neill came into view. Jolinar knew they were taking about her and the Tok'ra.

"Can you be sure he is who he says he is?" Jack asked the Jaffa.

"I cannot."

Jolinar was leaning against the wall. "Unfortunately we do not carry identification." She stepped away from the wall to face them more properly.

"Ok, let's try to build a little trust here, shall we?" Jack asked. "One of the Nasyans we brought back was very badly burned, but somehow he just got up out of his hospital bed and disappeared. Who is he?"

Jolinar thought of the man she saw at the hospital, the man who should be dead, but was not. She glanced down slightly. "Must be the Ashrak." _I should have killed him when I had the chance._

Jack looked slightly to Teal'c for clarification.

"It means 'hunter,'" the Jaffa informed him.

Jack turned back to her. "A Goa'uld?"

"Yes, an assassin of the highest rank who carries out the orders of the System Lords."

"Who is he here to kill?"

Jolinar swallowed, hesitating slightly. "Me."

---

The door opened again, and this time the Jaffa returned with Daniel Jackson. Jolianr stood up, watching as Daniel approached, and Teal'c stayed by the door. "Daniel Jackson."

"Yes."

"You care about Samantha Carter as much as O'Neill and Teal'c?"

"Yes, I do." Daniel wouldn't look into her eyes for more than brief second.

"Yet, this is the first time you have come to see me."

He pulled something from his jacket, his eyes still not looking into hers. "I came to see if you can give us a description of the Ashrak."

"I will know his face only in the moments before he tortures me to death..." Jolinar spoke bravely, though she was afraid.

Daniel looked up at her, looking fully into her eyes for the first time.

"...killing your friend along with me."

His eyes averted again, which annoyed Jolinar because she had seen some memories Samantha had with him. "Well, there is no way he's getting in here."

Jolinar continued to look into his eyes, hoping he'd look back into hers. "You are not stupid Daniel, nor am I."

"He doesn't even know for sure you're—your'e on this planet, let alone in this base." He started looking into her eyes more often.

"He is Goa'uld. He will find me. It's what he does. Letting me go, trusting me, is the only chance of saving your friend, Samantha."

"Then I'm sorry." He stepped forward, and looked fully into her eyes again. "I'm sorry, Sam."

Jolinar felt as if he was ready to leave. She needed to convince him. "Alive I can be a powerful ally. Dead I am useless to you."

Daniel had turned away from her taking a few steps, but then turned back to speak. "Well, then you're gonna have to give us more than empty promises."

Jolinar wondered briefly what would keep Daniel there. _His wife_, she thought. "I can give her back to you."

He looked away, and then back to her, lifting his arms in somewhat of a shrug. "We can't let you go."

"I'm not talking about Samantha, Daniel." She watched as he started to leave. "I'm talking about Sha're."

Daniel came to a halt and turned back to her again.

"I know where she is," Jolinar continued.

Daniel stepped back towards her. "Then, where is she?"

"I would need to show you. The Tok'ra can remove the Goa'uld from her."

Daniel stepped closer again. "The Tok'ra can do that? They...would do that?"

"Yes. We have a different way of life than that of the Goa'uld, and only take willing hosts. It can be a rewarding relationship."

"Willing hosts?" It was part question, part statement.

"Humans who are close to death may choose to co-exist with a symbiote," Jolinar said, and then added quickly before the obvious could be pointed out. "I had no choice with Samantha. Being an unwilling host, I wish to leave her."

Daniel said nothing, seeming to be taking all of this in.

"I wish to leave Samantha," Jolinar repeated, "but I can only leave if you trust me."

---

Daniel and Teal'c had left, and Jolinar hoped that at least one of them believed her, and that they could convince the others to let her go. She waited, feeling more impatient and afraid as time passed.

She looked up as the door opened, expecting to see a member of Samantha's team. Instead, Jolinar saw a man she had never seen before, and knew she was going to die.

"Who are you?" one of the guards asked before being shot. The other one was shot as he started raising his own weapon.

The Ashrak looked up at Jolinar, still holding the gun. "Interesting weapon these humans use." He walked over, stepping over one of the men he just killed. He opened the door to her cell.

For a brief moment Jolinar hoped he would use the Tau'ri weapon, as it would be less painful than what he would have used otherwise, but she knew her hopes were futile.

He approached closer. "Cree-shack, Jolinar, by decree of the Goa'uld System Lords, you will die with dishonor by the power of the Harakash." He lifted up the dreaded Goa'uld device towards her.

"Hear this," Jolinar started, and was surprised, that he was actually willing to hear. "The days of the Goa'uld System Lords are numbered. Tell them that I died with hope. My death only feeds the fire that burns strong in the Tok'ra."

She saw a flash of light coming from the device, and suddenly felt as if her mind was burning. She drew back in reflex, leaving her host in control, but the pain only grew stronger and made its way through her entire body. Jolinar worked to take most of the suffering and injury, and held her position for as long as she could. If she hadn't been completely within the host, the Ashrak would have heard her screams.

Samantha lost conscious before she did, and now Jolinar suffered alone. Her body was stiff as if from electric shock. It paralyzed any large movements, and any small movements caused a loud screech of pain.

She forgot all else but the hurt. It moved through her body as if liquid fire was pouring through her systems. It ended at her tail, and start again in her mind, more intense each time.

After eternity, the pain lessoned enough for her to hope for death. Finally, after another eternity, she remembered her host, who was dying.

To be continued...


	8. No Survival

(A/N: Finally, the last part. Couldn't update before becasue, well, ::points to main page:: that's why. I hope you enjoy.)

Part 8, No Survival

Jolinar started healing her host, though the actions caused her to want to jolt in pain. _Samantha?_ No response. Her host was still unconscious.

_We're dying. If I could just..._

Dying herself, she put all her energy into healing her host. The pain lessoned as she became weaker. Jolinar felt a wave of dizziness as she continued to work. _Wake up, Samantha. You need to wake up and fight._

Still no answer.

_Can't do this on my own._ The pain was dull now, and instead Jolinar felt a cold tingling sensation which accompanied her dizziness. _Tired. Sleep. No. Fight. Must heal._

_Jolinar?_

Jolinar barely registered her own name. It took a moment to realize Samantha had woken up. Her body was still unconscious, but her mind was awake. Jolinar was too weak to respond.

_What are you doing? _Samantha asked.

_Healing..._was all Jolinar could manage to tell her host. She felt colder and more exhausted, but she had a little hope. If Samantha's mind woke up, then it was possible for her to survive this. _Keep...fighting._

Jolinar felt that Samantha was indeed getting stronger, at the cost of her own life. _Live..._ Her body seemed to collapsed, no longer willing to heal the host no matter how much her mind wanted it to. _Tell...them..._

Jolinar had no idea if her host heard her, and not being able to heal any longer, she used the last seconds for herself. Her mind created weak images of Martouf/Lantash and Rosha. _Forgive me loves._

The End

(A/N2: Sache8 you requested to hear in this story what happened to Rosha, and well, if you are reading this, you know I didn't. I decided instead to make that its own story.)

(Thank you for the reviews everyone.)


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